“I will be wild. I will be brutal. I will encircle you and conquer you. I will be more powerful than your swords and your bloodlust. I will be inevitable.” ― Rachel Swirsky, A Memory of Wind

13_Agony of Ecstasy

Alexandra Drăgana

Scene 13

There was an eerie silence, a momentary pause in the air as the carriage stopped at the bottom of the hill. The last squeak of wood and leather faded to memory. Alexandra roused from her thoughts and looked to see what was happening. A thin wisp of dust caught up to the carriage and continued past on an invisible current of air that twisted the fingers of dust in a languid stream. The dust grasped at the feet of the horses shackled to the coach like obedient servants.

The mounted horses suddenly reared up, their uniformed riders erect in a stiff and controlling posture. Their martial strength roiled Alexandra’s mind in a surge of aggressive energy. Before she could think of controlling this surge of burning sensation, a foot troop of soldiers marched by taking up positions in front of them.

Martial music played from an orchestra at one end of the field. Multi-colored figures marched out in front of the bandstand in a flurry of coordinated movements. They seemed like a rose and stem in a fast-motion bloom, then a flat oasis of striated reds, greens, and white color as they found their positions and marched in place to the thunderous beat of the drums.

Alexandra’s heart pounded in her chest. She lived for that excitement she felt when she entered the cage to fight her opponent. As much as she suffered from her lifestyle and dreams, she lived for the sensual feel of skin on skin combat. The cage and pain were where she found her true self and sated lust.

Her head seemed to lull over to see what was happening with the sound of loud cries and shouts outside the opposite window. Alexandra happened upon Dari’s back turned to her as the handmaid strained to see out the tinted glass. The taut muscles of Dari’s back through her dress were accentuated in the shadow of the interior and the dusty light that streamed in from outside. Alexandra appraised straight shoulders, symmetrical tightening of Dari’s waist in a drawn triangle joined at the flair of her proud hips. The image clutched at Alexandra’s predatory soul, tightened her throat, and caused her breath to come shallow and quick. Their workouts together were having a good effect on her friend.

Soldiers shouted in unison, “make way, make way.” The carriage and entourage moved forward into the edge of the waiting throngs of people. Children were thrust up to the front and peered into the coach with inquisitive eyes. The crowd caught glimpses of the faces peering out at them and a roar vibrated a predator’s heart to life.

Distant, cold eyes stared at Dari’s body and dreamed of submitting her in a rear naked chokehold until she tapped out. But it wasn’t Dari, Alexandra saw in her vision. She craved the cage, she lusted for her female fighters, who outside the ring were some of her closest friends and some were her students. In the ring, there were no friendships, only the brutal conquest of gladiators.

How she loved to feel their muscles strain against her, their fists sought to bloody her face and at times they succeeded. It was a kind of lovemaking that was greater than sex. When it was over they were friends again, hugging and making plans together. No one talked of the sensual ballet that took place, the forcing of bodies together more tightly and for longer than any man would hold them except when they sought to rape and plunder their feminine treasure. No man dared try it now. Alexandra could crush ribs with her thighs and drive a stiletto through the thickest sternums. No, they no longer tore out her insides with their evil intent. It was their time to fear her.

Gray thoughts returned to the scent of the other female’s sweat and blood, the feel of their viscous sensuality and excitement, the taste of saliva, hot skin, and flecks of blood from their grimacing lips turned Alexandra on fully and completely. Then there was the exquisite pain on their face as she clamped them to her and pounded their face. Not too hard. She didn’t want to injure them, Just make them submit to her power and control. Alexandra was their legend and they worshiped their chance to feel her power and try to make it their own.

There were times when Alexandra and her opponent seemed to freeze in a tight embrace of pain and ecstasy. They would pause together as Alexandra’s lower stomach pulsed rhythmically and her legs shook with tremors. They heard the gasp for air and felt the strangled moan in her chest. She might have made them submit to her but they secretly delighted in their ability to make her come. For a woman, even a cage fighter, this was the ultimate power they possessed. Alexandra smiled to herself. “I suppose there really are no losers in this game.” Still, no one ever mentioned it, but they did come back for more.

The crowds were whipped into lustful screams and ecstatic worship in the arena as Alexandra worked her strategy and snatched her partner’s grimaces and cries of pain as small victories; the kind she prized far more than belts and trophies.

The cage fighter’s tongue flicked nervously across the roof of her mouth to soothe the dryness. Alexandra’s thoughts refocused on Dari’s probing eyes. She realized she was staring with a kind of sensual malice at her handmaiden, her dearest friend.

“My Lady. Are you okay?” Dari asked with concern in her voice tinged with a hint of fear.

“I am more ready than ever. The energy has just aroused my feelings, you know, it’s exciting.” Alexandra’s voice was steady and calm with a hint of rough pleasure.

“I’m so excited too,” Dari cooed with delight and yet her eyes held a certain concern for her Duchess. Dari felt Alexandra was returning to her true self faster than she and Cezar expected. Not everything was within their control and the unknown was far more troubling than the battles forming along ancient bloodlines.

The women returned their gaze to the adoring crowd. The peasants milled around like ants defending the mound. Their dark clothes were patchworked with bright colors and twisted patterns. Alexandra pursed her lips together. “I need blood,” she mused to herself. She knew in a transient feeling in the back of her mind that her bloodlust would find its home in her ancestral lands. She was the prodigal revenant and her mood lifted to joy upon realizing she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

Go To Scene 14

Image Source: The Unstoppable Angela Lee sportsnet.com


65 thoughts on “The Agony of Ecstasy-Scene 13

  1. Great quote, great picture, and most importantly, great writing! It’s raw and powerful, and I was completely transported into the dark depths of Alexandra’s mind. You use just the right words to make your readers tingle…erect, stiff, burning, tightening, etc.

    “It was their time to fear her.” ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Lauren! I’m relieved it was not a little too dark to hold on to. I really want to transfer our need for control and power from concepts to emotions and how we react intrinsically to it when life forces one down a dark path. Sadly, blood is a powerful aphrodisiac as well as power and wealth. Alexandra must deal with this or be lost to it.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow.
    Is it wrong that I found this incredibly hot?
    I know it wasn’t just that, you describe the primitive nature of violence and sexual satisfaction so perfectly.
    I was completely drawn in.

    Tension is building. I bloody love it.

    I would say it’s the perfect page turner but I haven’t got any more pages to turn!!!!!

    So good H.

    So so so brilliant. This is becoming a true masterpiece.

    Don’t forget about me when you are rich and famous or I WILL hunt you down!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awww, thank you Fiery. I’ll never forget the ones who have supported me and given me inspiration. No, not wrong at all to find the sensuality of conquest. As you said, it’s primal. We are hardwired to find more pleasure in conquest than in a single night of love. It is a primal instinct indeed. Alexandra is so well tuned to physical combat that for her it is the same as love. Her opponents are only competitors, they aren’t enemies and she has respect for them that is why their submission to her is erotic and brings her to her greatest pleasure. This is a part of being human we have tried to breed out in society, but it is impossible. One cannot teach a lioness to be a sheep. A shark cannot be a porpoise. Bloodlust and bloodsport are fundamental truths of humankind.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re very wise when you have your writer/philosopher hat on.
        Agree with you. Our nature is our nature. And something far more insightful to close with but I am still sleepy and brain not working goodly


  3. This was exhilarating, dark, intense. A glimpse into the life of a brutal female fighter. I imagine how it would feel to have that sort of power to kick the ass of the average man. I enjoyed the glimpse into her dark past. She’s a very strong and passionate character.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awesome! I’m glad you get it Sara. I worried this chapter might be a distraction from where I’m headed. But, everyone seems to be on board with Alexandra’s tortured efforts to regain her true coarse. I actually got this from reading about and watching female MMA fighters. I saw that they really fight hard and are incredibly tough but also show a lot of sportsmanship. There is no doubt in my mind that if you took Hapkido or Japanese Aikido, you would be able to quickly convince any predator he chose the wrong prey. These two martial arts don’t rely on strength but delicate balance and speed using the opponent’s weight and movement against them. You would do very well.

      Liked by 2 people

        1. I think you are a natural and they may have women’s classes where you will meet other women you can relate to through a common bond. Mixed classes of ages and genders can be less effective because the class tends to separate out into groups and the instructor’s attention is divided. It doesn’t hurt to look into it when you have time and often a free trial is offered to see if it’s the right fit for you. YouTube has a lot of videos to help make a decision. A world class author that actually kicks ass. I like the sound of that. 😉

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha! My mind can easily swim in a gutter or fly in the clouds. It’s one of my talents. I want to show how messed up Alexandra was from her life and now she has to funnel this terrible haunting and damaged emotions into something noble and just. Can anyone do that? I don’t think anything is going to come easy. Cinderella’s glass slippers just don’t fit this lady. I do follow the history of Eastern Europe very loosely. This is total fiction.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. The thing is the writing is so flowing & beautiful…it’s scares Ray more sometimes 🙂
        Yes i can feel it – that her past is like a dark cloud – still covering over her. If she don’t wanna glass slippers 🥿- then all we she can expect – a pumpkin …soup 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. A tale of female on female SM erotica that goes far beyond where 50 Shades of Gray whimped out.

    I imagine the Hillarybeast and two of her close Presidential advisors went blind and started growing hairy palms after reading this.

    As Cyndi Lauper sings “… can’t stop messin’ with the danger zone…” in the background.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha! I liked Cyndi Lauper. She was a bit avant garde in expressing female sexuality. Now, no one would notice anything except her multi-colored hair. Yes, we men have been conditioned not to notice that women are slowly expressing their dominance in society and with each other. Of course, the story is more of Alexandra taking back her life through her aggression. And her dominance in the ring begins to take on a symbolism of the same aggression in combat that has an erotic feel to it. She has become what was done to her in a way. It will come in handy later, I’m sure.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I am completely engrossed by your tale of feminine power, dark and fearsome. A breathtaking sensual read, exhilarating and disturbing at once. I’m without words to express how extraordinarily stunning your writing is. Bravo, Mr. H.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much Holly. Yes it is dark indeed. It should challenge everything we accept as “normal” and right. But, it will also show how redemption is found in the least likely place from the least likely person. I once read that poets were the bullets in truth’s bandoleer and I believe it true. While stories told may not be fundamental truths, they often lead us there. Anyway, that’s my hope for this story.

      Liked by 2 people

        1. Can you see me looking at my feet ☺️? Thank you so much for the support and kind words. It keeps me going. It may be a while before it’s print worthy but you’ll see my Snoopy Dancing announcement right here first 🤩

          Liked by 1 person

  6. She is finally coming to terms with her destined path. It is amazing how quickly she did transform when back on her land and surrounded by her people. And the “sensual ballet” you described was both sensual and gruesome in a way. The very reason men have been fascinated by watching battles filled with bloodshed. Excellent!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Na Mirea! This is a difficult part of the story to describe without alienating the reader. I try to show the darker side of life and how that darkness can take our minds away from us. From terrible experiences, we are transformed. For me, I was enlightened and made better by it, but for others, there is no recovery. Alexandra represents a destiny that requires her spirit to learn from her darkness. She is haunted by dreams of past lives and her terrible circumstances as a child of the street before her rescue and subsequent growth as a martial artist and fighter. She has grown to find the deepest pleasure from the bonding and closeness of fighting and the power to defeat her opponents in a ring, but life is not a ring and there are no rules when violence takes the mind to bloodlust. For men, violence is an emotional state that far exceeds the pleasure of sex. It is addictive and all consuming. Once a man experiences this in war or conflict of some kind, only the strongest will and mental discipline can rescue him from it. In the story, I show this attribute in Alexandra and how she struggles with it. Bloodlust, revenge, retribution, and longheld generational conflicts are the beastial nature of humans, mostly males. It cannot be bred out of us. It will always surface in one form or another and it is the primary reason men abuse women. The dirty side of the growing sex trade is the corruption of men forced on their victims. Boys without good role models grow up to be abusers or abused. So, a father must teach his sons and the men of a village must be good examples to the young. It’s a simple fact that in our modern world good example is nearly impossible to do. This story will be an example of redemption, of love, kindness, and devotion but it will not come easy as in reality, it never has been easy. We must build our lives with compassion and empathy yet be strong, skilled, and ready to fight with our lives to preserve the positive virtues of humanity. This is the foundation of my story. I think you, more than anyone else will understand this as you are a witness to the violent yet beautiful triumph of history in the Balkan States. You live at the center of the origin of Western civilization, a crossroads of culture, invasion, and war since before the Greeks came to power 5000 years ago. And not to be too melodramatic, no one in the world does the ritual of coffee in such a beautiful land. I was fortunate to have learned it from the Turks, Greeks, and Balkans. The enjoyment of friends over coffee was the best. I will visit the place of my ancestors’ birth someday in the near future. I hope. It would be a pleasure to observe this ritual with you, your friends, and family if that is possible. Sofia has a very special meaning in my life and I want to visit and possibly even take a long hike in the mountains above the city and to see the waterfalls of your country. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts and your friendship.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Sorry for the late reply. I just had to deactivate my account due to some online harassment. Trolling was never my thing but getting attacked by several did put me off WordPress altogether. Anyway, I signed up to your mailing list so I can keep following this amazing story.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I am so glad to hear from you K. I was shocked to see you were gone. I was afraid I had offended you somehow. Many of the people who are so talented and share their poetry and writing freely are subjected to harassment by trolls. There is no boundary for these genetic rejects. We have to protect ourselves as best we can. Your story is too good and too important for you to be silenced. You can publish your story here on Return of Dragons if you like and if any trolls show up, well, let me just say their trolling career gets cut short. If you would like to consider a few safer options to continue, you can use my contact link on my homepage to email me and I’ll share some options with you for a safer outcome. I am glad to have you still following along with Cezar and Alexandra as they navigate their destiny to regain their throne.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Of course, it wasn’t you. I considered keeping my page for you and a few other bloggers whose poems and stories I came to appreciate and who actually took the time to read my writing. The problem was that quite a few others mocked or insulted my poems or chapters (mind you sometimes without even reading them). It is great that here on WordPress we have the option to moderate the comments. Still I got to read them and I am, sorry to admit, quite disheartened at the moment. So I decided to take a break for now and just continue to enjoy some of the stories I came to love.


            1. Don’t let them win K. I have seen a lot of people make disparaging comments about incredibly good authors with great reader base simply because they are not intellectual enough to understand what they read. Some people are narrowly focused on a genre they like and they are unkind to anything outside their personal preference. Your writing is deep, authentic, beautifully descriptive, and intriguing. I would swear to my friends that you were right there watching everything in real life and describing real people. You are talented and your dream to write should never be halted by those that don’t get the true depth of your writing. It is good for us to rest, to take a break. I do it often enough. Just please don’t give up. If you feel you would like to continue at some time, I would love to help you but at a minimum, I want to read your book and I enjoy your friendship and readership here. You are always welcomed.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Thank you so so much for these kind words. I’ll definitely continue to enjoy the stories here. And I would be so grateful if you were to read my book. Your insights and thoughts after every chapter are very much appreciated and valuable to me. So if you could set aside time to read it at your leisure and told me what you think, that would be great. I assume you have your plate full – all with work and your own writing but I really would be grateful for your feedback. The thing is I couldn’t find your email or should I send you a message through your contact form?

                Liked by 1 person

                1. I would definitely love to read your book and give you feed back. My email is hyperionsturm@gmail.com. I can help you with editing and preparing a manuscript for submission to agents or publishers as well if that is helpful to you. Writing and publishing is hard work and because it involves something dear to the writer, it is charged with emotions of every kind. You know this well and your talent and creative spirit will see this through for you. Getting discouraged is just part of it. You will overcome it and find your place in the magical world of literary art. I see this in you and have no doubts.

                  Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Amanda. It’s really a deep part of everyone’s psyche, it’s part of our DNA and no matter our society, culture, or religion, the part of us shown in this scene is always there waiting to break to the surface.


  7. Holy sadomasochosistic sexualtity! This is hot, the pressing together of the flesh tighter and longer than any man could dare try…delighting in their ability to make her come…this Alexandra needs extra intensity to get off…probably because she’s been so abused in the past and has become so numb to normal sexuality… and only Hype with your exquisite descriptions could make me feel every squeeze of her tremendous thighs…I was in the ring with her, exploding as I tasted her blood on my tonque! Wow! I need a shower! Great writing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is a tough story to write. Alexandra is deeply damaged from so many violent assaults. Master Cho saved her life and empowered her. Now her feelings of love are associated with the extremes of personal combat instead of a tender love. But, everything happens to teach the soul and nothing short of a warrior will rule the masculine patriarchy she is about to inherit. I am glad this struck a sensual chord. The truth is we all gather a higher delight from conquest, even in the bedroom. I haven’t heard from the ladies yet if this is a big fail or a dive into deeper and darker territory as intended.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. My goal in every word. I want you to feel her pain and later we will feel much more. She is a force to reckon with and now it is coming to the forefront of her existence. Your only hope of life is to tap out before important body parts snap off.

          Liked by 2 people

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