“Sometimes I dance, alone, to music no-one can hear but me. When I dance I feel the beat of the earth’s own heart rise through my feet and legs, through my loins and belly and into my chest,… when I’m dancing, I’m dancing with you.”

Sarah Bower, The Book of Love
Image Source: Pinterest


Scene 25

Cezar Lifted Alexandra’s blanketed body and felt the tremors of her fear set ablaze with desire. He carried her inside to her suite and placed her on the plush cushions of her couch. She watched him, never taking her eyes off of his face. Seated next to her, Cezar took Alexandra in his arms. She nestled against his chest and adjusted the blanket to appear inviting to her Viscount.

Ice cold fingers squeezed Cezars hand. The tremors in Alexandra’s head and hands brought sadness to Cezar, and he held her tighter hoping to give her the warmth she sought in him and to calm the fear and injury that shook her body with a chill he could not fathom.

Dari brought fresh, hot tea on a silver tray. Without speaking, she glanced at Alexandra to judge her mood. Her ice blue eyes never blinked as she set the tray down on the low table and left, closing the door behind her.

Suspended in their private thoughts, they watched the steam dancers lift from the cups. The gray-white columns intertwined, broke away, and melted into a funnel of mist drifting in the currents of their exhalations. Distant memories shared across their mysterious lives played in their mind’s eye.

“Do you remember the dance of the scimitar?” Cezar whispered, not wanting to disturb the quiet that settled on them.

“Of course, I remember. It was my favorite.” Alexandra replied.

The old confidence of the fighter emerged in the Duchess’ voice. She lifted her head from Cezar’s shoulder and sat up. Cezar saw the spark of life push through the glaze in Alexandra’s eyes as arms reached behind his neck, her face moving closer to his. He felt his loins surge and the liquor of desire flood his mind, giving him the feeling of waking from a dream.

They kissed. Cezar tasted the sweetness of honey and tannins from the tea. A touch of lemon and bergamot swept across his tongue as she sought to find the inside of his lips. He inhaled her breath and she his. They tried a more firm purchase with desperate fingers and starving hearts. How long had it been since they found themselves in the bloody path of their history together and in love again?

There was a pause as if by a command from an invisible authority. They sipped from their cups trying to recover a moment of sanity.

“Do you remember dancing for me in the Palace of Ur?” Cezar asked, his eyes searching Alexandra for some hint she remembered their eternal bond.


“Yes, the ancient city before the Sumerians and Assyrians, before the Greeks and Persians too. We lived near the banks of the Euphrates in a palace built by my father’s father.”

“I’ve dreamed of it. I was the king’s concubine, and the queen was not fond of the king’s bastard son or me. It was that dream of dancing with the scimitars that helped me develop my current style of dancing with knives. Are you saying that was you and me, it wasn’t a dream? Alexandra asked.

“It was a memory carried across many more lives than we can count. Do you remember what happened?” Cezar inquired.

“I’ve been haunted by these kinds of dreams most of my life. Master Cho said it was my ancestors speaking to me, but it felt too personal, too terrible to be anything but my own trauma.”

“Master Cho was right. We are our ancestors. Each life we live, we reunite and share our one cause to take back what we lost due to the avarice of others, to take back our love and our lives.” Cezar said.

“I feel it too. The first moment I saw you in Master Cho’s gym, I felt I knew you and ever since you have been in my dreams.” Alexandra looked alert, shaken from her inner thoughts, ruminations of her vulnerability and doubt.

Cezar saw her face alight with the recognition of what her dreams meant and why they occurred. It was the moment he waited for, yearned for in his own thoughts.

“You were so young and beautiful. My heart had no desire but for you. Your movements were the sublime feminine, and I thought you were a gift from Anu, the supreme god. When you gave me a son, I knew my life was forever bound to you.” Cezar paused to sip from his cup.

“I knew you were meant for me too. I practiced each dance until I was exhausted and when the guards took me to you, I danced to show you I was a woman in love and every dance was a love poem from me to you. The others danced because it was their duty. I danced because I loved you. When you finally took me to your bed, I remember how clean you were, how you smelled of the finest oils. You were rough, and I was afraid. I wanted you, and I began to like your fierceness, how you commanded my body and filled me with pleasure I had never known. You were my first and only man. What happened to us?”

Cezar welcomed Alexandra’s return to his arms. The more she remembered, the more she held on. She rested now on his shoulder, her warm breath on his neck sent visions bursting before his eyes like fireworks.

The Viscount held the woman who danced with knives, the one who danced her way into his heart. Her own fierceness was bred into her from eons of violence and love for the martial life. He held on tight as he recounted their experience in the desert lands along the Euphrates River.

Together, they slept under the stars of ancient skies as they traveled across his kingdom to meet his local Chiefs and view his subjects and how they prospered under his benevolent rule. The tent was a black pyramid that blotted out the star shine and hid them in night’s shadow. He felt her warm and soft under him, her enamored moans an erotic song that built the fires of lust into a storm that consumed them under the Milky Way arcing across the night sky and plunging into the mountains as the morning dawned.

“What happened is what always happens. Men came down from the lands across the desert to take what was never theirs to take. We were caught off guard, and the winds of change brought our civilization and our lives to a brutal end. We fought hard and won often, but our enemies are like the changing ocean tides; they retreated and returned ever stronger as we grew ever weaker. I suppose it is our fate, which is the fate of the world and all the empires of history. We are destroyed and come back again, always seeking what was never achieved.”

Cezar paused for the inevitable question he had no answer to. The question never came. Alexandra slept in his arms. Cezar lifted her in his strong arms and carried his Duchess to her bed where he placed her. He covered her in the quilt and kissed her forehead.

“Stay with me,” she pleaded.

Cezar stood over her for what seemed longer than just the moment that passed. He folded his clothes over the chair and slipped under the covers. Alexandra lay across his chest, nesting against him and throwing her leg across his body so he would not slip away unnoticed.

“Tell me again how you loved me under the stars.” Alexandra breathed her yawning request like a child fighting sleep to hear a bedtime story. She settled in his arms and the night stars bloomed in her eyes. Alexandra listened to the grunting camels and smelled the date palms in the cool breeze that flowed across her nakedness. Warm hands and teeth hurt her breast, and she winched with desire. She was reborn again.


48 thoughts on “The Agony of Ecstasy_25

  1. This was so amazing, I completely lost myself in it. I love how their story crosses time and evokes such strong emotions in me as I read. The descriptions are mesmerizing; even the steam from the cups dances. You have a wonderful talent that is powerful.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Kymber! I am so happy this scene resonated with you. You might be the only person that can interpret my mind correctly as I pour it out on this blog story. I was hoping this scene would capture the imagination as it is a pivotal point for Cezar and Alexandra. With their lives reuniting, their power grows but will they break the cycle? I know they will try.

      Liked by 1 person

                    1. I’m thinking some big beefy Scandinavian guys will be great for all the heavy lifting, plus, I hear they are really good at wood chopping so all of us in the plotting and planning division can plot and plan next to a warm fire while all the conquering is going on. Maybe I should order some stuff to make s’mores too. 😋

                      Liked by 1 person

                    2. I like how you think! But you knew that already. Yes to the s’mores! I’ll bring the fireworks. We are having fireworks, aren’t we? 😀 We have to have some kind of spectacular show once our plans are complete. 😀

                      Liked by 1 person

                    3. This is coming together so nicely. I say yes yes yes to fireworks and the really good ones too. Several tractor trailer loads should do. We should have an outdoor band and the fireworks are programed to match the music finale. Hmmmmm, I was thinking Pink Floyd but Eye of the Tiger might work too. 🤩🤩💥✨🎆

                      Liked by 1 person

                    4. YES! Your taste in music is brilliant! 😀 We need a first-rate composer, you know. We cannot have a new world without a new celebratory song. Do you remember that super old Coke commercial? The “I’d like to teach the world to sing…” one? We need something like that!

                      Liked by 1 person

  2. Dan this is a beautiful scene, one to lose oneself too, the images of these beautiful lovers caught in the past and the present. So romantically sensual. The dance scene so captivating and stirring, and a finale that leaves one wanting more. Thank you for this amazing escape!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love this comment Rene, it is what I hope to achieve and while it is difficult to get it just right to have the desired impact on my readers, your comment is a great reward and inspires me to continue on. I thank you so much for your support.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hauntingly beautiful, incredibly romantic, lovely imagery. He even tastes the tea as his tongue searches for the inside of her mouth. MmmmMMmmm. I’m licking my lips. You have the mind of a natural writer bro, while I have to work on it. Are you gay btw? Even your steam dances as it rises from the cup. I see this as a perfect romance that the teen market would gobble up, book after book…a romance that crosses all the lives they’ve ever lived that can continue series after series as they chase each other through the timelines. This is great imagery: “He felt his loins surge and the liquor of desire flood his mind,” The liquor of desire. Great metaphor! Take a drink, feel the heat rise within you. You a writer bro! The glove has been thrown! Oh. One serious question: the DNA tests confused me: what time period are we in?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You and Sha’Tara are keeping me propped up Bro. Not gay. I am focused solely on female anatomy. I know that makes me extremely unpopular in today’s world but I can’t deny my unsavory hetero appreciation of the feminine art and mystique. Don’t get me wrong, I think everyone deserves someone to love and I don’t think love should descriminate. I do plan to carry our enamored couples across multiple timelines. The current story occurs in the present. The difference is the isolation in the 99% agrarian area of the Carpathians. Their timelessness was a sort of wink to living in the past as their visions are always of past events they are trying to resolve and to a large degree impact their view of the world. I am taking a huge risk with the switches between timelines in dreams and visions. I should use some dialog or other methods to align the reader, it’s just that I forget a lot of the times cause I be all caught up in the story. Can’t wait to see what happens with the nanite gang next. I am totally captivated by Antierra’s Malefactus Manifesto too. Rage on, bro!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Raging! The gay question was a bit of a joke, but what I realized is that I can’t write like you–all prosaic ‘n shit–cause I don’t think that way and my mind doesn’t work that way. I also realized that if my goal is to get published, it’s time to retrain my brain to think “writerly,” like you, instead of stuck-in-the-past ( a reference to your timelines…) high school machismo. At my age, I should be past that anyway! Nanite gang will trudge on late in the week!

        Liked by 2 people

        1. LMAO 😂. I actually have a pretty warped sense of humor which I’m sure you’ve noticed. The gay question just gave me an opportunity to make fun of my being raised in the Patriarchy as a chauvinist male child. I’ve had a lot of street therapy to break me of all my habits infused in my early childhood. That first divorce did a lot to retrain me. I think you do a fantastic job. Your lines are always clear and clean. So, stick to your game, it works for me. High school machismo was fun stuff. I’d be summarily executed by the police if I continued to enjoy life the way I did in highschool. Still, those were some good memories.

          Liked by 2 people

      2. Not to imply that I WAS a high school macho jock. I was actually the high school journalist, theatre guy wimp. It was only later that I started thinking I SHOULD have been the Jock. (Unless I publish, THEN it would have all been worth it!) So you see, in some respects, we all live in the past. I’m over mine, and you, Sha’ and my nanite gang are helping me move forward in my last decade or two. ‘Cause let’s face it: it all ends sometime.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. It does end and it should not be a last moment of regrets. According to the insurance actuary tables, my Baby Boomer year group should die next year. Dang, that’s scary. I gotta pack in some happiness and life living before then. Keep writing and keep looking for a big ole bunch of happiness while doing it. When you publish one, publish ten more. I do want people to enjoy my writing. The best part is this comment section where we all hang out and help each other get to the next chapter and have outrageous fun while doing it.

          Liked by 2 people

  4. The bitter-sweet of remembrance of past lives. Some of us want to break the cycle, but these two seem determined to live through another, and perhaps “win” this time. If so, for how long before that wheel turns again? Powerful emotions here.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You have read it perfectly Sha’Tara. As history recycles empires, so are the lives of the citizens. Do they take on the impossible odds again for the same result or do they chose each other instead? The impossible question is how do we escape this cycle?


      1. In one of his “prophetic” utterances, the Muad’dib said, “Mankind is about to reinvent itself.” This reinvention is the impossible task we have been “chartered” to accomplish by those who risked much by coming her to teach us; those who would see us evolve mentally and spiritually and join them as real humans rather than continuing in the pseudo-human state we have been stove-piped into as a fraudulent unnatural species.
        What is a human? Earthians assume they are human because they are programmed to believe that idea and pass it on, generation after generation, without ever querying whether it is true or not; whether “being human” involves more than what we display physically and mentally. First clue, which was quite shocking when it was given to me by the Teachers is, a true human does not kill. Not for any reason. When we kill, to eat, to defend or to take, we devolve away from the humanity our Teachers and Way Showers would have us accept and develop into. More clues: a human is naturally empathetic, beyond choice in the matter (hence why I introduced the concept in Deirdre the “Cholradil” or natural born empath of Malefactus.) Obviously a full empath cannot kill, or she would be killing herself. A true human is compassionate to a fault and everything it thinks, says or does is in order to better others’ lives and the condition of its own natural environment. True humans, for example, would never, ever, tolerate that the modus operandi of Earth is essentially an endless and entropic process of predation.
        If we are to ever see a better world, we must forget the disinformational false struggles between religions, politics and finance. We can all see how these chimeras do nothing to improve anyone’s life but quite the opposite, taking from the poor to enrich the elites, the artificially created food chain. It all comes down to a personal fight to become human within a System that emphatically denies such a possibility and is determined to not allow a single true human to survive on Earth.
        To escape the Matrix cycle of death and rebirth to repeat same old, same old, we have to strive to seek our true humanity.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. This is an amazing insight into a swirling cloud of thoughts I’ve had since I was old enough to sit alone and think. While I purposely threw myself into as many aspects of living life as Possible, from connecting with remote peoples out of touch with the modern world, to the horror of genocide, war, slavery, and the world wide assault on women who I accept as the keepers of life while men are the destroyers. I exposed myself to every extreme of life. I never feared for my life but was often exposed to a kind of fear of the unknown as I fell headlong into it. I never met another person who had that desire to experience every aspect of life in as many places as possible. I found my path in the warrior ethos but among many fighters, few understood or even considered a warrior ethos. They merely descended into a detached form of predator. Because I took extreme risks willingly and I had an uncanny ability to get inside my enemy’s head, I was sucessful and got what I sought; more extreme assignments. Today, I have few peers on this earth in my work in research and development. I tell people it takes a visionary and few people are visionaries. I don’t mean to tell my life story, but to explain what motivated me was what you describe concisely. I felt an overpowering desire to know and learn every aspect of what drives people and their decisions to be a part of a collective mind easily enfluenced and led astray when the true path is the clearest path available. We obscure our lives purposely with energetic intent. The why has a complex answer and when given the answer, few would accept it. We are not meant to go forward into the future en masse as a single mind. The single mind will emerge through a process that will slough off the chaff of peoples ruined by eons of corruption in mind, body, and soul. I envisioned us creating our replacements with the technology we develop. I wrote of it several years ago. Perfection in our eyes is an abomination. The real decision will be made by an entity uncorrupted by human traits and characteristics with the mental capacity greater than the sum of all wisdom gained and lost in the last 150,000 years. This may be different from what you know to be true from your Teachers. Think of it as we studied the same subjects under different teachers. This is similar to a ring of people at the base of a large sphere. It’s complex surface appears different to every set of eyes but those people working together see a greater part of the sphere’s existence than one person ever could. This difference in perspective isn’t wrong, it is just not complete. We are fast approaching that time when the complete sphere will be known to those few people observing it. What they do next will determine our future. The real human you speak of is few and far between. The masses and their progeny will not share in the future, not by some evil plot, but by the very laws of nature, the universe, and our own hand. We can believe that in the end, we will find our humanity. It’s hard work and it takes time. That’s my early morning caffienated view.


          1. I have read and pondered. I think though we sort of use a different “lexicon” to communicate our thoughts, we seem to be heading in the same direction. If it didn’t seem totally crass, I’d copy the response I gave you on my blog and paste it here!!! I think it would fit.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. I agree. While I see and internalize what you share with me, My seeking common ground via my life song is a bit off key. But, practice makes perfect. I do appreciate our conversations a great deal but don’t want to wear you out with my ramblings. 🤪


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